You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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