bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
