Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
