I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize
