Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
