so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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