Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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