Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
