69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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