Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
