I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
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