But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
