I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
