Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize