so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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