I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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