its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
