This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
How external is "for external use only"?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
