i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
