i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
