they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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