My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
