Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
