I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
