i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
