Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
he quoted the bible to break up with me
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
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