Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
How does one acquire holy water?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
