its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
