why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
