Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
