i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
