That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
