Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
