So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize