pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
