Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
