Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
