I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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