shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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