I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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