This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
