Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
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