So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
