dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
