just tell him i said nine months
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
