College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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