She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
