I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
