is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
