I faked an abortion last night.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize