And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Randomize
