nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
