So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
