I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
