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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
My life is pants optional.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
