You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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