hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Boobs are out for the taking
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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