scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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