Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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