I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
