if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize