what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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