You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
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